


History is on your side

by lynnauroramarie



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:40:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22864180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynnauroramarie/pseuds/lynnauroramarie
Summary: “Evan…” The man on the other side of the door said, out of breath like he had been running there.“E-Eddie?” Buck couldn’t believe his eyes. Collin, who had made his way from the couch, was now leaning against the kitchen isle behind Buck.Eddie is back, but Buck has a new boyfriend. Is there still a chance for Eddie to be with Buck?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	1. What are you doing here?

He heard a knock on the door and turned his head, he wasn’t expecting anyone. Collin looked at Buck and then shifted his attention back to the TV. Buck got up from the couch and walked to the door. He grabbed the door handle, opened and when he saw who stood in front of him, his heart dropped.

“Evan…” The man on the other side of the door said, out of breath like he had been running there.

“E-Eddie?” Buck couldn’t believe his eyes. Collin, who had made his way from the couch, was now leaning against the kitchen isle behind Buck.

“Eddie, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you in El Paso?”

Eddie didn’t answer him, he just stared at the man standing behind Buck, wondering if he might be too late after all. He let his eyes leave the man and focused on Buck again.

“Who is he?” Eddie slowly raised his hand to point at the tall man with short, light brown hair. Eddie had to admit that he was very good looking, but he refused to show that in front of Buck.

“My-my boyfriend.” Buck said, who was now starting to get nervous. Why was Eddie here now? After all these months?

“He’s your boyfriend?” Eddie knew that this could be a possibility. That Buck might have moved on without him while he was in El Paso, figuring out his feelings, taking some time to himself and being with his family now that his father wasn’t feeling well.

The man who was standing behind Buck straightened up and walked to stand beside Buck, extending his hand, ready to introduce himself.

“Collin Mackenzie. You must me Eddie Diaz.” The way he said his name made Eddie understand that Buck must have talked about him with Collin. He should have come sooner, because now Buck had met someone else.

“When did this happen? How long have you been together?” Eddie’s heart was starting to race, and he was beginning to regret his decisions these last few months. Why had he stayed away for so long? How could Buck not have told him about this?

Buck’s face was full of uncertainty. He didn’t know how to talk to Eddie about this. Collin, feeling the tension, decided that it was best to leave them alone. He squeezed Buck’s hand, kissed his cheek and said that he would let them have some time alone and went back to the couch.

Buck still hadn’t answered Eddie and all he could do was to stare at him. The feelings from their last goodbye coming back all at once.

Since Buck didn’t answer, Eddie kept asking questions. “Evan, can you please explain?”

“Collin and I met about two months ago. We were out on a call and he was at the scene. We started talking and decided to meet up later.”

Eddie could feel his heart breaking. He knew deep down that Buck would move on, sometime, he just hoped that he wouldn’t. That he wouldn’t leave all their history behind and start with someone new. Eddie knew that it was his own fault, for staying in El Paso so long, running away from his life in L.A. Running away like he always did. This wasn’t the first time he had run away, but the consequences this time were so much worse.

“I thought you would wait for me. But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“You left me, Eddie! What did you expect me to do?” Eddie could only stare down at the ground, he didn’t want Buck to look at his face. He was embarrassed.

“You said you would come back for me, but you never did. When you walked out of the door for the last time, I waited for five months Eddie. I had to move on. I could not let myself go back to the place I was when Abby left me. I held on to her and waited, but she never came either. I had to move on with my life, even though it hurt like hell. And this, us being apart, was so much worse than Abby.” He could not hold this inside him anymore and had to let it out. Over the seven months Eddie had been away, he had wanted someone to talk to about how he was feeling about Eddie not being there. He had tried to talk to Maddie, and she understood, but there was really just one person he wanted to talk to about this. That person was standing right in front of him now. This was his chance to let out everything that he had bottled up for months. 

“I know you said you needed to spend time with your family, but I couldn’t wait for you anymore. I couldn’t wait any longer and I didn’t even know if you would ever come back. You stopped answering my texts, avoided my calls and I felt further away from you every time I tried contacting you and you didn’t respond. When I met Collin, you had been gone for five months. Five months!!”

Eddie understood everything Buck said and why he was feeling the way he did. But he could not let this go. Not now when he finally was back.

“I thought that you understood. That’s what you told me before I left. That you would be there for me. I know I didn’t give you the chance to be and that I ignored you. But I am sorry. I know this was going to happen. I know you still love me but couldn’t wait anymore. You had to think about and put yourself first. I just didn’t think I would be gone long enough for you to forget about me.” Eddie knew he was talking way too fast, but he also had things he needed to let out.

That last sentence was like a knife stabbing right into Buck’s heart. He could never forget Eddie. How could he even think that? Buck still woke up in the middle of the night sometimes, screaming Eddie’s name, but then realizing he was not there.

“Eddie, I have not and will never forget you. I don’t even think that’s possible and even if it was, I wouldn’t want to.” Buck started to feel a little uncomfortable when he remembered that Collin was in the living room. He had talked about Eddie with Collin before, but Eddie was not standing just a few meters away from him then.

Buck was so thankful for Collin, because he had always listened to him when he would go on and on about Eddie. Sometimes that’s exactly what he needed, to ease the pain of Eddie not being in the same city.

“Could we maybe meet up tomorrow and talk some more? This doesn’t feel like the right place or time but there are still a few things I need to get off my chest.” Eddie was staring Buck in the eyes and he wanted Buck to see how much he still cared about him. Buck stepped forward and hugged Eddie and whispered that they could meet at the park tomorrow at 12.

They let go of each other and backed away. Eddie nodded, his eyes starting to fill with tears. Buck could feel tears burning in his own eyes as well. Eddie turned around and walked away from Buck’s apartment door.


	2. Collin & Buck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Collin…” Buck was starting to tear up again. His eyes was burning.

When Buck had closed the door, Collin got up from where he was sitting and walked over to Buck. Collin put his arms around him and Buck broke down crying. Letting everything out. All the hurt he had felt over the last seven months. Collin understood everything Buck was feeling, and he told Buck that he was always going to be by his side whenever he needs to talk.

Buck told Collin between wiping the tears of his face and all the sobbing that he was going to meet Eddie at the park the next day, and that he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. Eddie had meant everything to him, still meant a lot to him, and he didn’t want to lose him again. “Evan, I completely understand. I am not going to stand in the way of you and Eddie being friends, if that is something you want. I know the two of you have been through hell together and I understand that you have a lot of unresolved stuff between you and a bunch of things you need to tell each other. I knew getting into this relationship, how your last one had ended, because you have always been honest with me and I am always going to be honest with you too.”

“I know I can count on you always being by my side and that is something I really appreciate.” Buck and Collin were now sitting in the living room of Buck’s apartment.

“There is something I want to share with you, Collin. It is not something I have been trying to hide, and I’m not ashamed of it anymore. There has just never been a good time to say it. When I was 20, I met a guy. He was sweet, handsome and he was very kind to me. Fast forward a few years and we were married. We had moved into a house and we really loved each other. But at some point, it changed. He started to be controlling. He didn’t let me spend as much time with friends and family, and after a while I didn’t get to see them at all. He started to hit me, and verbally abuse me too, every time I did something he did not like. I wanted to leave him, but he stopped me every time. He noticed when I had planned something, a way of getting out. He noticed how my behavior changed and he knew that I was trying to get away from him. The man I had so fiercely loved once. The man of my dreams.” Collin held Buck’s hands in his. He reached up to wipe a tear off of Buck’s cheek as Buck continued to tell a story from his past.

“I almost gave up on ever getting out, away from him. But one day, the day after he almost killed me, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to leave. I had bruises around my throat from the night before. I had looked in the mirror and touched the blue and purple marks and I just felt as though this was it. I could either stay and that would happen again and again and again, or I could get away. It felt like it was now or never. Ask for help was something I thought I would ever need to do. I thought I could handle him. But I understood that this is a very dangerous situation and that I needed help. So I texted Maddie in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. I told her everything I had been so afraid of admitting and she told me that she loved me, and she was going to help me. I got out, alive. Eddie was the first person I told. The first person after Maddie that I felt so safe with that I could tell him anything. And I knew that he was someone that was going to accept me for me and love me for who I was. The night I told him all of this, was the night we had been on a call that almost got us killed and he had saved me. I knew that he was always going to protect me. This was also the night he told me he loved me for the first time.”

“Evan, you have been through so much in your life. Things I wish I could have protected you from. But you have people in your life that care for you, who love you and they helped you in the past. I am so grateful to them, that they helped you and loved you. And now I know even more about how much Eddie mean to you and I will spend the rest of my life feeling thankful towards him. I am not going to take him away from you Evan, and you decide how you want him to be a part of your life.”

Buck felt warmth in his heart when he looked into Collins eyes. He could feel Collins love for him, but he also knew, that the love Collin had for him, was nothing compared to the love Eddie had showed him. He knew what he had to do. What the right thing to do was, for everyone in this situation. He could not do this to Collin. He deserves better than to be someone’s second choice.

“Collin…” Buck was starting to tear up again. His eyes burning.

“Buck, I know what I got into. I knew the risks and I ended up loving you. But you, you deserve to be able to make your own choices. I love you. I know that you love me too, but I also know that you love Eddie. And you will always love Eddie. I am not mad at you. I am glad that he came back now, before we got too serious. What I am trying to say is that this is gonna hurt like hell. But I think we should break up. Because staying together, like this, with you still loving someone else, and me being aware of that, just hurts a million times more.”

Now both Collin and Buck were crying. Holding each other close.

“I love you so much, and I am so sorry for this whole situation. I- “

“Buck, please don’t apologize. I am happy for you and I am glad we got to spend a few months together. I am not going to hold this against you. But it would not be healthy for us to stay together.”

All Buck could do was hug Collin even tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not sure if their conversation is making any sense, but it did when to me when I wrote it some time ago.  
> // Lynn Marie


	3. I hope that he will choose me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m meeting him tomorrow again, and I plan on telling him everything I felt before I left, when I was gone and how I feel now. "

After Eddie had left Buck’s apartment building, he decided to stop by at Maddie and Chimney’s place. He needed to see his friends that he had missed so much during the months he was away. A pleasant surprise when Chimney opened the door was that Eddie could see Hen sitting next to Maddie on the couch.

All three of them seemed very surprised to see Eddie, but Chimney stepped forward and captured Eddie in an embrace, while Hen and Maddie got up from the couch and walked to the door. Hen hugged Eddie after he and Chimney let go of each other and the first thing Hen said was “What the hell are you doing here Eddie? Are you back for good now? Or should we expect a goodbye again soon?”

“I think I’m back for good this time. Being away from all of you is not something I want to experience again.” When Eddie said, “all of you”, they knew who he was really talking about. They got that he had missed them too, but he had missed Buck most out of the four.

“Have you been to see Buck? He was a wreck when you left. He missed you like crazy.” Hen said.

“I don’t know about that, he seemed pretty content with that _Collin_ guy.”

“Oh… so you met him? They haven’t been together for long. Just a few months. How do you feel?” Chimney asked.

“I feel liked I fucked up so bad. Why didn’t I bring Evan with me to Texas? Now he’s with someone else and I don’t know what to do. I mean Collin seemed fine, but I still want to be with Buck.”

“Eddie, you know you have been gone for over half a year. What did you think he was gonna do?” Maddie put a hand on his arm and looked at him with her kind eyes.

“I knew he was going to move on, I knew it. And now I feel so stupid for not doing anything about it sooner. When I was in El Paso, I was freaked out. Buck and I was starting to get serious; I mean like really serious. And I thought I was ready for it, but apparently, I wasn’t. One day, I got a call from my mother and she said my dad was ill. I took that as a chance to get away and clear my head. I told Evan I wouldn’t be gone for long and that I would be back soon. But when I was there, I just didn’t know what to do.”

He had to pause for a few seconds to catch his breath, but then he continued. “I love him with all my heart, and I want him to be happy because he deserves it, he really does.” He could feel tears in his eyes again and now he was a little embarrassed. He wiped his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

“I’m meeting him tomorrow again, and I plan on telling him everything I felt before I left, when I was gone and how I feel now. I want him to understand why I did what I did, even though now when I think about it, I’m not even sure myself. I want to tell him that I never stopped loving him and that I will love him for the rest of my life. I hope that he can forgive me and that he will want to be with me again. But what if he feels like he could never trust me again? What will I do if he still decides to stay with Collin?”

“That is a possibility, but Collin and Buck have only been dating for two months or something. You and him, you guys were together for a long time and you fell in love with each other even before you officially stared dating. You have been by his side through so much. History is on your side.” Hen always knew how to talk to Eddie about this stuff. He was aware of the fact that when he sees Buck tomorrow, it might be over between them, for real this time.

“I know he might reject me, because he does have a boyfriend. I will understand if Buck tells me he loves him more than me now, but I also hope with everything that I am, that he will choose me. Like I will choose him every day for the rest of my life. I am not going to leave him this time.”


	4. Glad to be back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Eddie?” Buck said quietly. “I meant it when I said that I never forgot you. I thought about you, often.”  
> Eddie reached over to take Buck’s hand in his own.  
> “I thought about you all the time, too.” He looked into Buck’s eyes and smiled gently. He was so glad to finally be back.

Eddie and Buck met up at the park near Buck’s apartment. Buck was so nervous, and he was feeling guilty because he had hurt Collin. He never meant to, because he had not realized that his feelings for Eddie were still so strong. It had been easy trying to pretend that he wasn’t still madly in love with Eddie, but that was when Eddie was in another state. When he suddenly was standing in front of him, he knew that he could never be completely happy with someone else. Like Collin had said to him the day before, even though they loved each other, it would not be healthy for either of them to stay with each other. There would always be something that didn’t feel right. 

Eddie had showed up first and was sitting on a park bench, waiting for Buck. When Buck showed up, Eddie could see his own nervousness reflected in the other man, both of them seemingly terrified of what this conversation could lead to. Either they part ways and this was their closure, or they start over and begin again, together. They both hoped for the latter to happen. 

“Hi...” Buck said in a whisper as he approached Eddie.  
“Hey...” Eddie said, sounding slightly awkward. 

Buck took the seat next to Eddie, making sure that he sat close enough for their thighs to touch.  
When Buck stayed silent, Eddie took the lead. 

“I know that it was wrong of me to show up out of nowhere yesterday and I am sorry if I made you or Collin uncom-“

“We broke up yesterday, after you left.” Buck interrupted before Eddie could finish his sentence. 

“How do you feel about that? Are you mad at me for showing up now?” Eddie felt bad about breaking them up. He didn’t want Buck to be sad and wanted to make sure that he was okay. But at the same time, he also was a little happy. Because that meant that when Buck was ready, they could try again. 

“I am a little sad because Collin is an amazing person. But if you came back because you still love me and want to be with me, it would not be fair to him if I stayed with him while I’m wishing to be with you.”

“Do you want to be with me? Do you think we could be together now that I’m back?” 

“Yes, because now that you are back, I can no longer ignore my feelings for you that never really went away when you left. They faded with time and were not as strong, but now they are as clear as they were before. I could not stay in another relationship, knowing that you are in the same city, and still love me.”

“Okay, so do you need time to process your breakup with Collin and kind of figure out how you feel about the situation?” 

“I do think i need a little time to collect myself and make sure I know what I’m feeling. I might need to talk to Collin more and make sure he is okay. I still want him in my life, as a friend.”

“Yeah, I understand. So, I guess we just take this slow? Maybe we could just hang out with our friends and then by ourselves before we start going on “official” dates again?”

“I like the sound of that. Uhm, we could ask Hen and Chim to hang out tonight? I know they’ve missed you too.”

“Yeah, I know. They told me that yesterday. I went over to Maddie and Chimney after I left your place and Hen was there too.” 

“Oh okay. How did they react to you being back?”

“They asked me if I was back for good or if they were to expect a goodbye again soon...” 

“Well, you are staying for good now right? I can’t handle you leaving one more time.”

“Yes, Buck. I promise you that I am not leaving again, not if you’re not coming with me.”

“I’m happy to hear that, truly.” 

“I am so sorry I left you, Evan. I really am.” 

“I know, I get that now.”

“Do you wanna get up and go for a walk before calling Hen and Chim about tonight?” 

“Yes, a walk would be great right now.”

They both rise from the bench and start walking further into the park. They were walking beside one another for a while, enjoying being in each other’s company. But then Buck slowed down and eventually stopped. 

“Eddie?” Buck said quietly. “I meant it when I said that I never forgot you. I thought about you, often.”  
Eddie reached over to take Buck’s hand in his own. 

“I thought about you all the time, too.” He looked into Buck’s eyes and smiled gently. He was so glad to finally be back. 

“I guess Hen was right.” Eddie said. 

“About what?” Buck answered, somewhat confused. 

“I told her I was nervous about today and about whether or not you would choose to stay with Collin. She told me that it was a possibility that you would stay with him, but that history was on our side. I guess she was right.”

“Yeah, I guess she was.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure no one cares and I understand because I only posted 3 chapters and then stopped writing for months hahah, but I just finished the last chapter. I didn't want to leave my work unfinished. I am aware that the characters in this story are not acting or talking entirely like the characters on the show, but thank you to the people who took time to read this. I know it's not great, but I think for a first story it was okay. Again, thank you so much for reading!✨

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! This is the first fanfic I've written, and I am aware that it might be really bad, but I decided to post it anyway because I like it. I hope you enjoy reading it. I love Eddie and Buck and I hope they become canon, but even if they don't, they will still be one of my favorite ships.  
> // Lynn Marie


End file.
